Outrun Your Self-Doubt
Over the weekend, I took a trip down to Austin to film some shorts with Justin Murphy, who wanted to promote his Independent Scholar program via videos shot by me. I had gotten connected with him because of my writing on 𝕏– I’d been writing for some time about my work and philosophy as a videographer and happened to catch his attention, and he invited me to collaborate.
Much of our initial work together had left me feeling plagued by a sense of imposter syndrome– why did he want to work with me? There were people far better at video than me, and yet here I was working for dream clients with him as a business partner– someone whose content I’d watched for years before.
We waited outside of the Assembly Capital building in downtown Austin. Justin told me they were funding Urbit. In the last week I’d scored a last-minute editing gig with Urbit (through Justin) to promote their first wartime address, wherein they announced the return of Urbit founder Curtis Yarvin. The video was due the day it was asked for, and I delivered within hours of the request.
Once inside, Justin introduced me to the head of Assembly Capital. “This is William. William, this is Parks, the guy who did the last minute Urbit video. He’s fast.” The head of the hedge fund shook my hand and smiled. “Nice to meet you, and thanks for the video. Most creatives take so much time!”
There is a Bible verse, Proverbs 22:29, which states: “Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will stand before kings…”
I realized then and there that the feeling I’d been harboring– that I was some unqualified imposter– was useless and unsubstantiated. For whatever reason, I’d found myself connected to people I respected, and they seemed to see something in me I had failed to see in myself. In the creative world, where hubris is so common, being overly humble and waiting on others to exalt you seems counterintuitive. And yet, it is often the right move. Some would say that you risk being looked over, but I haven’t found this to be the case whatsoever.
Don’t underestimate speed as a differentiator– both in landing clients and in outrunning your lack of confidence in your abilities. If you move with intention you can outrun self-doubt. None of my success came from having the most perfect work, but instead producing things in a manner that was efficient, cost-effective, and timely.
The modern meme movie is a perfect example for why speed is king in creative work. Some meme will become popular, and all of a sudden everyone is talking about it. By the time it’s greenlit by studio grifters, months have passed– it’s no longer relevant, audiences don’t care. Millions spent; and for what?
Many will complain that hurrying themselves disrupts creative flow. But in reality there is no flow until there has been acceleration. Acceleration is necessary to even begin movement. Creatives must realize that in every other profession it doesn’t matter if you’re busy, tired, bored, or uninspired; if the job needs doing then you do it, and you do it however quickly it needs to be done.
And a final note: upon meeting these so called kings, I find them to be a lot like me— constantly attempting to expand beyond their current capability, sometimes doubtful of their qualifications, and yet always willing to fail in order to test whether or not that doubt was legitimate.
