Vanity as a Means Toward Truth
No one ever starts anything unless first motivated by vanity. Let me give you an example:
When I was younger, I wanted a girlfriend. Actually, that’s altruistic. When I was younger, I wanted female attention. Naturally, I assumed the way to do this was having big muscles and a nicely proportioned physique. I trained relentlessly in the gym, at first seeing no progress due to poor effort in the gym and a worse diet. Eventually, I learned that pushing myself in my workouts and not over-indulging on junk food produced a physique closer to the one I desired. But there was a problem; women still weren’t beating down my door. Even though I was “jacked” that didn’t guarantee female attention. In fact, confidence, it seemed, was a far greater predictor of success than my looks, and would take far more work to cultivate if it was to be authentic. Regardless, I felt better– healthier, more energized, and more confident– in my day to day life as a jacked person, and so I maintained the regimen I had initially taken up for vanity’s sake for reasons that were more in line with reality. I realized that fitness was important, but for an entirely different reason than I’d assumed when starting out. This made me realize something about all endeavors I would ever undertake.
One cannot possibly know the true purpose for which one works unless one has generated the perspective that that work affords upon achievement. In the initial case of bodybuilding, had I not begun the process I would have remained at my level of assumption which wrongly led me to believe that “the only thing that matters to get girls is being jacked.” Let’s say that rather than pursuing bodybuilding and coming to the realization that there was more to female attraction than my looks, I remained cynical toward the idea of bettering myself because “women are shallow” or something, allowing myself to remain skinny fat in some weird act of protest. Not only would I be wrong in my assumption– I would be convinced I was moral for remaining unfit! Many, it seems, occupy this state– of convincing themself that their sickness is truly health, because of their resentment of what is good; for what is good always calls into contrast that which is shamed by its appearance.
And so I operate now under a different assumption: that it is OK and sometimes necessary to begin something for the wrong reasons, as long as you learn through experience what the better reason is. Take for example business: how many businessmen invent a new product due to altruistic aims, versus those that are simply seeking to make a competitive product and turn a profit? Through their desire for wealth, they end up producing something of value for the rest of society. In the best cases, they may acquire wealth and find it unsatisfactory compared to the fulfillment they receive from seeing a customer’s problem solved. “I made the world a slightly easier place to be today,” the entrepreneur can say. He would never have achieved this desire had he not set out merely to generate wealth for himself.
There exists in all of us a call to adventure. Something that beckons us from out of our own present state no matter how comfortable. In Scripture this state of comfort and immaturity is understood as to be “dwelling in tents.” Abraham dwelled in his father’s tents until he was seventy-five, at which point God beckoned him forth to complete what was set out for him. Many of us hide in fear of our own calling, because we know that tragedy necessarily awaits he who aims at and pursues the highest good. We think ourselves above the “call to adventure.” This is foolishness.
But there is a subtle contrast here, which is that there are some who, beginning with good instruction, know what is ultimately a vain end before they have set out. The wisdom tradition says that power, wealth, and self-exaltation are vain ends and not to be pursued. He who is wise enough to discern this before beginning his journey is excused from pursuing them– knowing their fruitlessness– but he is still not excused from pursuing something. Out of the tent with you!
To ensure oneself not a cowardly faux moralist, it is necessary to engage with the call to adventure. Grounding oneself in wisdom traditions helps ensure that one is at least starting nearer to the true path than they would have had they chosen their end blindly. Vanity, however, is inevitable if our ends are chosen for ourselves, and we must willingly admit when our chosen path has revealed itself to be so. Only the humility to admit this allows us to choose anew.
Generate perspective on what is worthy by pursuing whatever it is you can discern to be most worthy of pursuing, regardless of your fear of failure. Take your best bet and leap, wrestling with all your might and cunning to ensure you do not succumb in the pursuit of truth. Understand you will inevitably fail if you are in pursuit of what is most worth seeking.
Courage is the necessary ingredient for the beginning of any journey, but wisdom sees one through. Courage alone cannot guarantee success, for many have rushed blindly and confidently into what would ultimately cause them to perish. Wisdom and awareness are what allow one to avoid the spiritual deceptions that litter the path, causing the weak to be led astray. Pride in one’s aims, or ability, or growth are the most common and seductive of all traps. You must beware of all the traps that have been laid before you, that seek to ensnare you in what will inevitably be revealed as pershing vanity. Devils hate whom God favors. Humility– the willingness to admit fault– allows one to remain under the protection of God against the devils that seek to deceive.
The purpose behind self-development and the pursuit of adventure are to heed the call from above. You have work that has been designed especially for your hands since before time– work which would imbue each moment of your existence with great meaning and purposefulness. To ignore this is to forsake a great gift. Understand that you will never choose the perfect end of your own wisdom, but as a byproduct of your willingness to begin and to learn you will come to slowly understand what it is that is truly worth working for. What you stand to gain is far more than you could ever yourself promise. Avoidance itself is not without risk.
It is only after achieving what I originally thought I wanted that I can begin to understand what is truly meaningful. To begin in vanity is forgivable, but to continue in vanity is not.
